Why I Stopped Studying "A Course in Miracles" (ACIM)

A Course in Miracles (ACIM) is a work supposedly channeled by Helen Schucman.  For many people looking for spiritual guidance, it has been a great source of wisdom and comfort.  Over a decade ago, I studied the course intensely, reading and re-reading the work, believing it would help me find peace.  But in one of my re-readings I ran across a line that began something along the lines of, "When a brother asks you to do something you should do it without labeling it...(etc.)."

When I read this line, a disturbing feeling came over my body.  I was in a period during which it was becoming increasingly clear that setting boundaries was necessary in my life.  ACIM uses archaic patriarchal language so that "a brother" means any other human being.  The thought of doing whatever another person asked of me was not either realistic or appealing.  My experience had already taught me that it was important to say no if a request didn't feel congruent.

Interestingly, ACIM states that if anything within it isn't true, then none of it is true.  This is quite a bold statement.  Since I used to feel that it was important to find a spiritual text that was a source of 100% truth, it was hard at first for me to accept my disillusionment, but my body told me it was time to let go of studying ACIM.

Some years later I returned to a belief that I had while growing up:  that Jesus Christ wasn't a real person (see the documentary The God Who Wasn't There in which describes that there is no historical mention of Jesus until 60 A.D., and that his "special traits" were derivative of other mythological gods).  Since ACIM was supposedly channeled from the historical figure Jesus Christ, my rediscovered disbelief in Jesus's existence further confirmed my doubts about the authenticity of ACIM.  I believe that this work was written by Helen Schucman's inner guidance, not the voice of God.

There is a lot of good material in ACIM, and I believe that Helen was tapped into a deep source of wisdom as she wrote this work.  However, in my opinion, it is hardly infallible or the "end all, be all" of spiritual truth by any means.  For those of us who are on the spiritual path, we tend to crave a profound source of truth.  Concurrently, I believe it's important to overcome the tendency to "respect authority" (in other words, don't believe everything you read) and listen to the truth of your intuition.  ACIM advocates poor boundaries while saying that if part of it is false, all of it is untrue.  I personally believe that setting boundaries is an important skill for everyone, so I no longer explore ACIM as a source of spiritual wisdom.

Peace,
Chris

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Calling Attention to Subtle Racism

Given the demographic of those who read my blog, I'm not going to startle anyone by stating that racism has a low vibrational energy that is dying out in the new paradigm.  Nevertheless, I wanted to share about an incident I witnessed on TV today that made me feel good.

I begin my days with exercise, during which I watch some previously recorded show like The Late Show with David Letterman, Charlie Rose (if I'm feeling intellectual) or some other form of entertainment.  Today, as I watched Letterman, I was tempted to fast forward through an interview with someone I consider to have an "old paradigm" energy (I won't use her name so as to somewhat avoid a "gossipy" vibe, so I'll refer to her as "the guest"... for context, she is white).  Anyhow, I decided to watch the interview since I sometimes find that I change my opinion about someone when I learn some aspect of their personality that I didn't know about previously.

So as I jogged around, carrying my dumbbells, I succumbed to a belabored story about the guest's eyelash extensions, and how the procedure went bad.  As she told the story I cringed as she said, "The Asian lady who applied the eyelashes...[etc.]"  Letterman listened patiently to the story, and when she finished he said something to the effect of, "How was her being Asian relevant to the story?"  I shouted out, "Yes!" and was proud of Dave for bringing this up.  The guest's reply didn't make sense to me...it sounded like a nervous rationalization (she said she wanted to give a shout out to the Asian community...and that they invented the eyelash extension process).  Sigh...it was sad.

I reflected on how just a generation ago, such a story would be very unlikely to be met by a late night talk show host with an inquiry into the relevance of someone's ethnicity.  Consciousness, however, is rising.  People are sensing that if ethnicity isn't relevant, it's not worth mentioning.  Had the guest's eyelash assistant been white it's very doubtful she would've brought such a detail into the story.  Even though there was no judgment implied in mentioning that this person was Asian, it still reflects ethnicity as a "template" through which people are unnecessarily viewed.

A more overt example of racism in the last week or so was ESPN's headline "A Chink in the Armor" in relationship to the Asian NBA player Jeremy Lin of the New York Knicks.  Many people were shocked (understandably so, in my opinion) that such a derogative term was able to slip past their internal censorship process and appear publicly (it was soon removed).  This incident reflects that while sensitivity to racism is increasing, there is still a need for greater awareness regarding how to use language in a respectful manner.

David Letterman made a bold choice by confronting his guest, and he deserves props for his decision.  Letterman still has his own work in this realm as I would prefer he stopped using the word "homosexual" when he could more eloquently use the word "gay" when describing a gay celebrity.  I don't sense he's overtly homophobic, but whenever I've heard him say "homosexual" (always awkwardly) to describe someone, it makes me feel uncomfortable since by today's standards it is not the preferred term in the gay community.

We've entered an era in which racism, homophobia, and sexism are more often expressed covertly than overtly, and one way to raise consciousness is to call attention to prejudice when you hear it in those around you.  When I used to live in Arizona I was surprised several times by people making racist comments or jokes in front of me, seeming to assume that because I was white I'd get a kick out of it.  When we don't "laugh along" out of some vague desire to fit in or be liked, it sends the message that we're not willing to encourage the separation that is enabled by prejudice.  (As an aside, I've of course witnessed racism while living in Michigan, Pennsylvania, and my current home of California, as well.  It just seemed a bit more common, and unabashed, while in Arizona).

By the way, two interesting synchronicities occurred just prior to writing this blog...

First, as I thought about this topic, I noticed that the song "Every Picture Tells a Story" by Rod Stewart was playing "randomly" in the background. This is a song I like, but within it the protagonist is presumably referring to an Asian woman as a "slit-eyed lady". I'd noticed this line in the past and felt conflicted because I like the song but hated this racist description. Presumably, Stewart wouldn't use the same term if he were writing a song today...but nevertheless, I decided to remove it from my Spotify playlist (I don't like the song that much). I came to a similar decision a year or two ago when I removed Mott the Hoople's song "All the Way from Memphis" because of a guy being referred to as a "spade" (I just discovered on Wikipedia that the term was changed to "dude" in later versions...but I've never heard the "dude" version).

My second synchronicity prior to blogging was that I noticed as I sat down to my computer that on TV was a story about a new Spider-man comic book in which the man behind the suit is half-Black, half-Hispanic. The reporter spoke about how many comic fans are enjoying seeing someone like themselves portrayed as a popular superhero. I heard this and thought, "Okay...the universe is definitely nudging me towards blogging about this particular topic!"

Peace,
Chris

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I Feel Good Because I Wanna

I find that when I awake before fully rested it's like a laboratory for my brain, a chance to do "thought experiments" in a highly sensitive, very raw state of mind.  I certainly don't prefer sleep deprivation, and would love to sleep 8 hours straight every night, but I try to make the best of it when I wake up too early.

This morning, I awoke after about 4.5 hours of sleep, and noticed that my immediate temptation was to think, "this sucks" and be negative about my situation.  However, I believe that I was influenced by watching an inspiring video by Bruce Lipton on the power of our thoughts last night (which I recommend checking out when you have 51 free minutes) so I decided to shift my focus in a positive direction.

I've been studying Eckhart Tolle for a long time, and feel that the ability to surrender to the pain-body is a great skill to have instead of fighting against it.  However, it is tempting (since there is nearly always "some degree of pain" present in one's body) to shift immediately to feeling the pain-body when sleep-deprived instead of focusing on a more positive perspective that shifts one's state from pain to pleasure.

I decided I wanted to feel good in my situation, even though I really wanted to fall back asleep and get at least another few hours of rest.  I didn't like what I was faced with, but decided I wanted to feel good instead of focusing on my pain-body.  So within my mind I repeated the phrase, "I feel good" to see if those words could help me feel better.  I noticed a subtle sensation of tingling pleasure throughout my body, which I saw as a very good sign.

I added the phrase "because I wanna" (want to felt too "formal" for the occasion) to offset any thoughts that I needed a "good reason" to feel better.  I simply wanted to feel good in that moment and felt that the desire for pleasure should be enough.  The phrase "I feel good because I wanna" seemed to help further.  Instead of feeling as though I was in a "negative" situation that I needed to either fight against or "surrender to" I felt my body shifting into a more pleasurable state.  Within half an hour I was able to fall back asleep and woke up later feeling rested.

I learned from this experience that while Tolle's method of feeling the pain-body may be best for some situations, it's great to also be able to shift into a pleasurable state simply be focusing one's thoughts on feeling good.  So I pass along this story in case you'd like to experiment with the phrase, "I feel good because I wanna" (or "I feel good because I want to" or perhaps "I feel good because I would like to feel good" or whatever grammatical structure feels congruent!).

Peace,
Chris

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Finding Meaning in Awakening to an Earthquake

Today I awoke in a bizarre manner.  As I exited my dream about watching the Oakland A's at some random bar (which was unusual, as I'm not generally interested in baseball or bars), I felt a sharp jolt as my house moved along with the earth.  Concurrently there was some kind of cracking noise, perhaps my bedroom door rubbing against its frame.  To say the least, it was a disorienting way to return to my conscious state.

It was only the 4th or 5th time in eleven years of living in the Bay Area that I've felt an earthquake, and I believe it's the first time one woke me up.  Interestingly, the last time there was a major quake in this region was over 22 years ago, and it was nationally televised since the Oakland A's were in the World Series.  So I can only surmise that my baseball dream (perhaps the only time I've ever dreamt about baseball) was an unconscious premonition of what was about to occur.

After checking today's comparatively mild earthquake's magnitude at http://www.sfgate.com/earthquakes (it was a 3.5...not too shabby, but not typically enough to cause damage to homes), I laid in bed and reflected upon the incident .  Being that the epicenter was just a "long baseball throw" from my home, I sensed the incident was, in some way, symbolic.  I like to look for meaning in significant events, and in this case it didn't take me long to find a connection.

The last thing I saw the prior night before falling asleep was a NOVA documentary called Deadliest Volcanoes on PBS.  I had ambivalence as to whether or not I wanted to watch this as it seemed fear-based, but lately have been enjoying NOVA and Frontline programs as a way to complete my days...so I thought I'd give it a shot.  As I paused about halfway through to go to bed, I wondered if I should bother continuing it later on, or just delete it from my DVR.  It was full of a lot of "what ifs" such as "a super volcano that could cover the sky and lower the temperature of the Earth could occur tomorrow, or in 100,000 years...we just don't know."  I tend to avoid fear-inducing media since I'm a believer in Timothy Leary's statement, "Power to the pupil" (what we choose to view affects our perception of reality).

Well, it didn't take long to see the connection after feeling this morning's quake.  Before falling back asleep I deleted Deadliest Volcanoes.  It felt to me that the universe had been saying, "Okay, you want to focus upon potential natural disasters...here's a little taste."  Since I don't live anywhere near a volcano, an earthquake was a fairly "parallel" experience that could deliver the message:  "where attention goes, energy flows."

Whether it's on TV, the web, or in films, I'm repeatedly learning that it benefits me to be mindful about the media I consume.  I'm choosing to live in peace, and therefore fixating upon death and drama doesn't serve me on my journey.

Peace,
Chris

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From Logical Atheist to Nonlinear Mystic

I had it all figured out from a young age. Science proved that there was no purpose to any of this whole life thing. Some chemical reactions had occurred millions of years ago, followed by eons of mutations, which eventually lead to our ultimately meaningless existence. Here we are, I thought...so what?

To add to my sense of certainty I would occasionally watch glimpses of televangelists asking for money from their confused and desperate masses. It only increased my cynicism that there was anything whatsoever to spirituality. We were here for an average of seventy years, and would vanish into non-existence with no memories, no awareness.

To avoid my underlying existential dread I would distract myself constantly. To peer into the abyss of death was too much, so I'd selfishly cheat on partners, having affairs to find brief escapes from the dreary pain of life. I would sneer at anything spiritual and think that it was nothing more than naïve delusions to avoid the fear of death (not recognizing how much of my own life was about avoiding my fear of death!).

Nevertheless there was something small within me that yearned for meaning. Around the age of 19 I read Siddhartha by Herman Hesse and enjoyed it greatly. I wasn't near considering myself an adherent to Buddhism or any form of religion, but the suppressed spirit within me said, “Hmm...this is interesting.”

Some years later I found myself exploring the Tao Te Ching. It seemed as though spiritual text that didn't mention the word God could be at least somewhat palpable. My mind was full of too many negative associations with the word “God” to ever find such a concept appealing, until the age of 30 when I read the Conversations with God trilogy by Neale Donald Walsch. It had been recommended by a friend whose opinion I trusted, and I found it extremely appealing. It opened my heart, and my mind. Around the same time I had begun using divination sources such as Osho Zen Tarot and the I Ching. Synchronicity began to powerfully blow the lid off of my logical mind, and I soon realized that there was much more going on in the world (and beyond the world) than linear “logic” could explain!

I was eventually guided to write about spirituality, and have written five books and dozens of articles in an attempt to put into words the perceptions that were becoming clear to me. I could see that there was a spiritual realm, and it was speaking to me with increasing consistency as I learned how to listen.

I became drawn to the tradition of mysticism which I learned was direct communication with God instead of receiving teachings from a priest or other “authority.” I was guided to a “pen name” to reflect my new self...and became Mystic Life. Impending death became replaced with an interest in physical immortality. Affairs became replaced with an interest in polyamory as a way to honestly love more than one person. And beneath these earthly concerns grew an understanding that a peaceful mind was my ultimate goal. I came to believe that the one guiding principle that I would embrace when making choices was the ongoing question, “Will this bring me greater peace?”

Now, as I help others on their path as a guide, or as a friend, I have empathy for wherever they are. I've experienced many extremes throughout this life, and the benefit of having been a devout atheist is that I can compassionately relate to the religion of logic. I know that until someone is ready to open their mind to the spiritual realm, they will most likely not experience it...and life will make perfect sense. However, I believe that an ever increasing number of people are awakening to new possibilities, and I feel that my journey is grounded in the knowledge that everything I've experienced has elegantly manifested to help me assist others as they awaken into a meaningful, spiritual life.

Peace,
Chris

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