From Logical Atheist to Nonlinear Mystic

I had it all figured out from a young age. Science proved that there was no purpose to any of this whole life thing. Some chemical reactions had occurred millions of years ago, followed by eons of mutations, which eventually lead to our ultimately meaningless existence. Here we are, I thought...so what?

To add to my sense of certainty I would occasionally watch glimpses of televangelists asking for money from their confused and desperate masses. It only increased my cynicism that there was anything whatsoever to spirituality. We were here for an average of seventy years, and would vanish into non-existence with no memories, no awareness.

To avoid my underlying existential dread I would distract myself constantly. To peer into the abyss of death was too much, so I'd selfishly cheat on partners, having affairs to find brief escapes from the dreary pain of life. I would sneer at anything spiritual and think that it was nothing more than naïve delusions to avoid the fear of death (not recognizing how much of my own life was about avoiding my fear of death!).

Nevertheless there was something small within me that yearned for meaning. Around the age of 19 I read Siddhartha by Herman Hesse and enjoyed it greatly. I wasn't near considering myself an adherent to Buddhism or any form of religion, but the suppressed spirit within me said, “Hmm...this is interesting.”

Some years later I found myself exploring the Tao Te Ching. It seemed as though spiritual text that didn't mention the word God could be at least somewhat palpable. My mind was full of too many negative associations with the word “God” to ever find such a concept appealing, until the age of 30 when I read the Conversations with God trilogy by Neale Donald Walsch. It had been recommended by a friend whose opinion I trusted, and I found it extremely appealing. It opened my heart, and my mind. Around the same time I had begun using divination sources such as Osho Zen Tarot and the I Ching. Synchronicity began to powerfully blow the lid off of my logical mind, and I soon realized that there was much more going on in the world (and beyond the world) than linear “logic” could explain!

I was eventually guided to write about spirituality, and have written five books and dozens of articles in an attempt to put into words the perceptions that were becoming clear to me. I could see that there was a spiritual realm, and it was speaking to me with increasing consistency as I learned how to listen.

I became drawn to the tradition of mysticism which I learned was direct communication with God instead of receiving teachings from a priest or other “authority.” I was guided to a “pen name” to reflect my new self...and became Mystic Life. Impending death became replaced with an interest in physical immortality. Affairs became replaced with an interest in polyamory as a way to honestly love more than one person. And beneath these earthly concerns grew an understanding that a peaceful mind was my ultimate goal. I came to believe that the one guiding principle that I would embrace when making choices was the ongoing question, “Will this bring me greater peace?”

Now, as I help others on their path as a guide, or as a friend, I have empathy for wherever they are. I've experienced many extremes throughout this life, and the benefit of having been a devout atheist is that I can compassionately relate to the religion of logic. I know that until someone is ready to open their mind to the spiritual realm, they will most likely not experience it...and life will make perfect sense. However, I believe that an ever increasing number of people are awakening to new possibilities, and I feel that my journey is grounded in the knowledge that everything I've experienced has elegantly manifested to help me assist others as they awaken into a meaningful, spiritual life.

Peace,
Chris

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