I often find that if someone calls who I don't want to talk to, it will occur when I'm in the shower. It's very strange how this is synchronized...and I appreciate it. Of course, I would check my Caller ID whether I was showering or not, but there's something nice about being oblivious to the phone ringing as I'm showering and listening to music.
Today's call was from my 90ish year old neighbor Faustino. He has some mobility issues and so I helped him a year ago remove some seedlings of a tree he despises (this type of tree spreads like weeds, apparently). The seedlings were in my neighbor's yard. Not Faustino's yard, but another neighbor he apparently feels less comfortable asking for assistance.
When I heard today's message from Faustino I felt tension arise in my body. I had already done quite a bit of gardening earlier in the day, was nicely clean and cool from my shower, and didn't want to go back out into the heat to deal with the seedlings he so hates. Additionally, it is a Saturday, and my other neighbor might be home. I would feel awkward if she saw me removing tiny tree-babies from her yard. In short, this felt like something I didn't want to deal with. I wanted to please Faustino, as he is a nice guy and has been a good neighbor. But my intuition was telling me, "I no longer want this to be my thing."
So I called him back. He asked about removing the seedlings, and I said to him, "Do you have my neighbor's phone number? If not, I can give it to you. Since it's in her yard I think you should contact her."
He replied, "Well, you took care of it before, and I thought you could just do it and then it would be done with."
"I'm trying," I said, "to set better boundaries in regards to doing things in my neighbor's yard."
He quickly thanked me for my time and hung up, perhaps a little dejection in his voice. About an hour later he called again, but didn't leave a message.
I noticed in my body that I felt uncomfortable and tense. I told myself that he probably wouldn't be that bitter, but he might act more distant should I run into him (which is only maybe twice a year, anyhow).
This situation felt karmic to me. I realized that by doing something I didn't want to do a year ago, I was expected to do it again. And this kind of situation can occur so often in one's life. We get into rituals that don't really serve us, and become slaves to our amicability.
I like to be liked. Most people do. But at the same time, as my sensitivity increases, it becomes more clear when I don't want to so something. I now realize that being liked simply isn't worth going against my feelings. So, ultimately, it felt good to step out of an obligation I did not desire. Should I have gone against my feelings and helped him again, it would've even more deeply solidified my role as seedling remover...a task I realized had nothing to do with me whatsoever.
[A bonus insight I just had: It is a day later and I am sunburned from the gardening I did yesterday. Had I gone against my feelings and spent more time outside, helping my neighbor, it'd be even worse. There's symbolism in this.]
Peace,
Chris
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Today's call was from my 90ish year old neighbor Faustino. He has some mobility issues and so I helped him a year ago remove some seedlings of a tree he despises (this type of tree spreads like weeds, apparently). The seedlings were in my neighbor's yard. Not Faustino's yard, but another neighbor he apparently feels less comfortable asking for assistance.
When I heard today's message from Faustino I felt tension arise in my body. I had already done quite a bit of gardening earlier in the day, was nicely clean and cool from my shower, and didn't want to go back out into the heat to deal with the seedlings he so hates. Additionally, it is a Saturday, and my other neighbor might be home. I would feel awkward if she saw me removing tiny tree-babies from her yard. In short, this felt like something I didn't want to deal with. I wanted to please Faustino, as he is a nice guy and has been a good neighbor. But my intuition was telling me, "I no longer want this to be my thing."
So I called him back. He asked about removing the seedlings, and I said to him, "Do you have my neighbor's phone number? If not, I can give it to you. Since it's in her yard I think you should contact her."
He replied, "Well, you took care of it before, and I thought you could just do it and then it would be done with."
"I'm trying," I said, "to set better boundaries in regards to doing things in my neighbor's yard."
He quickly thanked me for my time and hung up, perhaps a little dejection in his voice. About an hour later he called again, but didn't leave a message.
I noticed in my body that I felt uncomfortable and tense. I told myself that he probably wouldn't be that bitter, but he might act more distant should I run into him (which is only maybe twice a year, anyhow).
This situation felt karmic to me. I realized that by doing something I didn't want to do a year ago, I was expected to do it again. And this kind of situation can occur so often in one's life. We get into rituals that don't really serve us, and become slaves to our amicability.
I like to be liked. Most people do. But at the same time, as my sensitivity increases, it becomes more clear when I don't want to so something. I now realize that being liked simply isn't worth going against my feelings. So, ultimately, it felt good to step out of an obligation I did not desire. Should I have gone against my feelings and helped him again, it would've even more deeply solidified my role as seedling remover...a task I realized had nothing to do with me whatsoever.
[A bonus insight I just had: It is a day later and I am sunburned from the gardening I did yesterday. Had I gone against my feelings and spent more time outside, helping my neighbor, it'd be even worse. There's symbolism in this.]
Peace,
Chris
Get 5 Free Minutes ~ Live Psychic and Tarot Readings
Get 10 Minutes for $1.99 ~ Live Psychic and Tarot Readers
This blogger is supported by ethical reading sites which offer live online psychic readings, tarot readers and astrology.
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